My Favourite Memories
by Amanda SaturnVenus
Summary: Harry's answer to Ginny's letter. Sequel to My Best Guarded Secret.


**_Disclaimer:_**_ All the names and places mentioned in this fic belongs to JK Rowling, and I don__´__t have permission to use them. This is a sequel to My Best Guarded Secret._

**My Favourite Memories**

Ginny,

         I know you said you wouldn't come (and didn't), but I still had hope that you would. I looked everywhere for you, and as much as I tried to be discreet, I don't think I succeeded.

         You were right, you know? You did catch my attention - and more than once. I really, truly admired you, and still do – now even more. I'm not going to insult your intelligence and say that I looked for you at the party to declare my undying love for you. You and I both know that that would be a little too forced. But I will say that I genuinely wanted to talk to you – still want to. And I'm not going to hide that I'm actually glad I had time to think about your letter.

         You may laugh as you read this, but you were right once again. Your love was your best guarded secret. At least for me it was. I don't even remember exactly when I started to think that you had grown out of your crush. What I do remember is that the realization of maybe never seeing you blush again when you'd look at me, made me feel like I had lost something very important. And now I know what that thing was.

         In your letter you said you waited for the perfect time to tell me, and I so want to thank you that you did. Because you found the perfect moment. I am going to sound a little egocentric saying this, but I wasn't ready for any of your deepness before your letter. The truth is I hadn't grown up yet. I was still a child, still clinging to the hope that the Hogwarts castle would be my refugee forever. I hadn't matured enough to realize that people's lives and decisions started to be part of my own life. I still had that childish belief that my life was my own business and nobody mattered. The final battle with Voldemort, and mainly your letter, made me open my eyes. I finally saw that I depended on other people – needed to depend – and that there were people that depended on me too. You were one of them. But what amazes me the most is that I don't need to depend on you, but I still WANT to depend on you.

         The reason for me to cling to my childhood the way I did is that it was a (maybe stupid) way for me to stay out of all the troubles and responsibilities that come with adulthood. At some point I really believed I was going to be The-Boy-Who-Lived forever. I didn't imagine growing up and making a family, partially because I didn't know what being part of a family really was. But at that time, I did start realize that I wouldn't be a child forever. I mentioned earlier I had felt like I'd lost something important; before, I used to think it was just my ego bruised because you didn't like me anymore. Now I know: what I lost that day was the fake notion that all my problems would resolve themselves, and that in the end, everything would be all right,  just because I was who I was. Pretty presumptuous of me, I know. But losing your crush on me was something I really didn't want to lose – I realized that later. And then I started to notice that things didn't work out for themselves. And it was then, what I started to grow up.

         It's funny to think that even though we were never really close, you're still so important to my life. You said you had a bond with me because I saved your life once, now I'm saying I have a bond with you: because more than making me grow up, you made me evolve.

         I'm sending you this letter instead of talking directly to you, because I thought that just like you were so sincere with me, I should be with you. And now I know why you decided on a letter. I'm having a hard time arranging my thoughts to try to say everything I'd like to, and I'm realizing that I really wouldn't be so eloquent even if I tried to. All the things I'm feeling right now are so strong... I would probably choke.

         I said in the beginning of this letter that maybe I didn't succeed on being discreet, and now I'm going to explain why: I left the party to write this letter. I know some people might be wondering what happened, and maybe some are even worried. But the truth is that this is something I HAD to do, and had to do it NOW. You said you hoped this day turned out to be one my favourite memories, and this is why I'm hoping Hedwig finds you, since nobody knows where you are. Please, come here as soon as you read this letter, or send Hedwig with a note telling me where you are. I'd really like for you to enjoy the party, so I'm really hoping that you choose to come. But if you don't, please let me talk to you. I know we'll have a lot of time, but I still would like to give a closing (and maybe a beginning) to one of my "favourite memories": your letter. You, in all your deepness and sincerity, would make this party complete. I'm not the only one missing you.

         All of this is very new to me, but I know you understand me. You already made peace with your feelings and know what love is. I don't, YET. But I'd like to. And if it counts for something, I'm already falling into you. And as unconditional as your love is, mine for you (whatever the path my love happens to take) will always be, too.

                                                                                             Forever yours,

                                                                           Harry

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